While pondering the past year I was naturally led back over the past several years as well - all the adventures and turn of events, trials, joys, surprises. I began to think of a movie that recently came out - I began to feel like sort of a maze runner. Now, dystopian stories are not typically my cup of tea. But, looking back on things, I see how much my life resembles a giant maze. I see how very little I actually know about the paths I set out upon.
It's humbling: recalling the number of times I said, "That's it! I'm never moving again!" (and how many times we've actually moved.) How many times I said "I can't" or "I won't"... and then arrived at an unexpected place in life where I must. How many times I made "concrete" plans that shifted like tectonic plates to reveal a new, unforeseen passage.
It's overwhelming, looking back, seeing myself as such a tiny little maze runner.
In fact, were it not for my faith, it would likely be devastating: the realization that I have no control in this life, that I have no idea where paths lead or cross. Were it not for my faith, I'd likely be fear-struck, paralyzed, still at the entryway of the maze, having never taken a single risk, not one step into the journey.
I'd probably be living a "safe" life... having only one, maybe two kids. I'd have never attempted working from home or homeschooling or going into a ministry, or moving.
But thankfully, that's not the case at all. Thankfully the Lord God is my travel companion -- He who created the maze; He who "ran" it Himself 2000 years ago, He who moves mountains and guards it with His angels; He who hides blessing and grace and strength around every bed.
Thankfully, every year it's He Himself who takes me by the hand and leads me to a new section of the maze. If I had to name the sections, 2014 would be called the Fiat, the year of the "yes".
My husband and I said yes to moving, twice in one year. We lived in three houses in one year!
We knew very little about where each move would take us. We knew only (with certainty)that it was God's will. And each one opened up to new blessing.... new dimensions of the journey, new depths within the maze. Each path provided new and beloved friendships, new and exciting experiences, new and invaluable lessons.
Last year on New Year's Eve I would have NEVER (in my wildest dreams) envisioned where I'd be this New Year's Eve. I could have never guessed what the path of 2014 would behold or where it would take us. But I guess that's the point. My wildest dreams are no match for the maze.
I can't begin to fathom what 2015 will behold. I can only continue to cling to my Guide. I can only say yes to the next step. I can only trust in His lead and Hope in His promise. It is in this way that we make the most progress. It is in this way that we get closer to the end, to that final passage into our final destination. How happy we will be on that day, when the Maze Maker ushers us through the exit, into the great Kingdom of God.
It is my hope and my prayer that you make progress this year. If you've been standing still, pondering the next step, or fearful of a certain passage, I pray you are filled with the courage to move forward. If you feel tired and weak, unable to go on, I pray you are filled with the strength to continue. If you feel lost or confused about where you are at or where you are going, I pray the great Guide reveals himself to you and you are filled with holy trust. If you feel as though you've taken a wrong turn or you've come upon an ambush, I pray God's mighty hand upon you, that His angels come to your aid and place you safely on the right path.
Thank you my dear, dear friends for traveling with me this past year, for keeping me company, supporting me, building me up, and praying for me. Know that your companionship is truly cherished. Know that you are in my prayers. May 2015 be all that God desires it be for you... and may we all arrive safely someday, together at the banquet of the maze runners.
Happy New Year. God bless. xoxo